🧙Crone’s Corner (11)🧙‍♂️

#crone #corner

ADULT CHILD ESTRANGEMENT

Today's Crone's Corner is about the estrangement of adult children. It is a growing phenomenon. The details are individual, but the basic story is the same.

Adult child suddenly decides that you the parent has become persona non gratis. They abidicate all responsibility for their own lives and blame you for everything that is wrong with their life.
With a partner or other close relative they gaslight you and refuse to have anything to do with you. They quite often up sticks and move away. This will hurt and devastate you.

1. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT

2. Eventually you will stop banging your head against a brick wall and accept that you can't change the situation.

3. Your adult child is just that, an adult.

4. Like you did (probably ss a teenager or young adult) they must stop blaming their parents for the situation they find themsrlves in.

5. It is up to them to take respnsability for their own lives, go to counselling or whatever they need to move on.

6. It is also up to them to stop reinforcing their apparent hatred of you with their, spouses, partners and close relatives.

I am not saying give up all hope of a reconciliation. It does sometimes happen. Meanwhile, surround yourself with people who care about you, who enrich your life and want to be with you.

Your adult child is a grown adult who must learn that we are all flawed human beings. They can meet us halfway and discuss their feelings in a mature way or not. 

All we can do is forgive them and move on with our lives, knowing that we did the best we could with the information and tools we had at the time. It is deeply hurtful, but all you can do is move on and keep hoping they will come to their senses.

**On a personal note, this has been a  difficult  article to write as adult child estrangement has effected me very deeply. To my son I send this message:
I love you, a mother's love never dies, and forgives every hurt. My door is always open, I am always available to listen to you as long as you afford me the same courtesy. If you choose not to contact me remember, never is a long time. **